"This isn't a nursing facility."

On our visit to another gated Arizona RV park that is owned and operated by and for women, a long-time resident gave us a tour of the well- kept facilities and told us about the lifestyle in that community .  This park seemed to have residents who were slightly older that the previous park we visited but it had also been in operation longer.  As we walked the streets lined with tidy homes, we were greeted by a woman who was waiting for her ride to the opera.  Another woman was headed to the woodworking shop.  A couple drove by to drop off their house keys so their dog could be fed and watered.   Women here share responsibilities for everything from teaching classes to doing security duty.  When it comes to caring for each other, they surely do.  But, we were also told that there was a limit to what they could do for each other.  "This isn't a nursing facility."  I asked, "How do you decide when it is time for a resident to move into assisted living or a nursing home?"   I was told that residents had to make that decision.  In fact, the woman that was our guide, told us her partner had dementia.  Caring for her at home was no longer possible so she had recently moved her partner into a senior facility nearby.  I could only imagine how difficult this would be after years of living together.  There was a moment of levity in our conversation when she shared that during a recent visit to the facility, she saw her partner caressing the breasts of another woman resident in the unit.  Although it was a bit shocking to see her partner do this, the other woman didn't seem to mind at all!  Maybe there are some things we never forget!