The beginning of a new era

So here it is....December 21st, 2012...and the world hasn't ended yet.  Guess that means we are beginning a new era!  I'm sitting here by the pool in Hoi An Vietnam.  Just had a lovely massage and while lying there getting a rub down, decided this vacation provided a great opportunity to get busy with my latest passion, finding a way to become an advocate for LGBT senior housing.  I've been playing around with some ideas in this regard for almost a year.  I've developed some thoughts, plans and even a proposal to forward this work.  I've shared these ideas with a handful of people involved with LGBT senior issues and have gotten positive response but need a larger network if this baby is going to get off the ground.

So, since the world doesn't seem to be ending.......let's get to it!

First, I should "out" my motivation for this work:  I'm getting old!  I just turned 60 and feel like this has been a major milestone.  Retirement is in the near future (scary enough) and a recent health episode brought me to my senses.  I'm not a young, active, workaholic lesbian anymore!  My partner, Jane, is seven years my senior.  We have a great and relatively easy and peaceful life with a few aches and pains, but we are NOT who our mothers were at 60!  What will happen to us if one or both of us need assistance and we can't live in our home anymore.  Where will we go?  Will there be a senior housing facility where we can live and be who we are now, a lesbian couple accustomed to behaving as a lesbian couple as we do everyday in our own home?

There are so many LGBT seniors who have been living our lives out of the closet for so many years, I can't imagine senior housing facilities are unaware of this impending market.  Other than a few LGBT-specified senior housing, the rest of the facilities either don't see it coming, don't want to acknowledge us or are just plain clueless!  Hello????  We're here, we're queer, and we coming your way!

Is anybody listening???

This is the beginning of a new era!

Element 1: Proximity to Community

It is January, 2013, and I am back home in San Diego and ready dig into regular posts on my blog.  Rather than blather on about why it is critical to have senior housing facilities address the needs of LGBT seniors, I would like to start outlining some elements that I believe are critical for senior housing facilities to address if they want our business.  I have identified 10 criteria and will write about one element every time I post.

Let's begin by accepting the obvious:  we are everywhere!  I have lived in three Midwest states, the Northwest and now in California.  I have lived in rural communities, mid-size university towns, small and large cities.  Everywhere I have lived in my adult life, I have been a part of the LGBT community and many of my friends still live in those communities. 

When I was in my early 30's, I lived in the beautiful Palouse area of Idaho.  A good friend there had inherited his family's farm house and acres of beautiful rolling wheat land.  When we talked about what we would do when we got "old and gray," my friend would say, "I think we should just turn the farm into a gay retirement home! We could sit out on the front porch in our rocking chairs and wave at the cars going by."  It was an intriguing idea back then -- a gay retirement home. Now there are several LGBT designated senior housing facilities in America and more being planned.  Most are in urban communities where there there are more LGBT residents.  But what about seniors who don't live close to one of those facilities and don't want to leave their current community to do so?  What about LGBT seniors who don't want to live in a community that is designated for LGBT residents only?  I've been out of the closet for several years and can't imagine feeling complete without my straight friends in close proximity.

Wherever we live, we should have access to senior housing that doesn't just "accept" us but welcomes us and affirms who we are!  AND we should be able to "age in place" where we have made our community.  Of course we all want to live in our homes as long as we are able.  As my grandmother used to say, "They'll have to carry me outa here with my boots on!"  Reality is, many of us will not be able to care for ourselves in our homes and may need the support provided in a facility that offers leveled care or specific care to meet our needs.  There are so many senior housing facilities here in San Diego, I realized I needed some criteria to limit my search.  There is nothing on the internet at this point to help guide my thinking, so, being the kind of woman who likes to think strategically, I read everything I could find about LGBT senior housing issues and generated some elements that I believe are critical to the needs of LGBT seniors and created criteria that could be useful in measuring or evaluating any facility I might be interested in. 

Element 1:  Proximity to Community or “Aging in Place”

Local housing is available so LGBT seniors don’t need to move to another community to find affirmative housing

Possible criteria for element 1: 

• ·   Shortest distance from community in which I currently reside (if that is my community of choice)

• ·   Ratio of LGBT-affirming housing facilities to LGBT residents in that community

• ·      Percentage of LGBT residents in the housing facility is representative of the community

Are there ANY LGBT-affirming senior housing facilities in San Diego?  How about where you live?  Does this element make sense?  Does the criteria fully define the element?