My Own Private Idaho

The Farm on Big Bear Ridge

I do love Idaho, particularly Moscow and Sandpoint, two places where I lived in the 1980's.  Whenever I go back there, I feel like I am in my 30's again.  Those were some pretty crazy times in my life but the good friends I made then are still good friends and always will be.  This is where my friend Jerry and I talked about sitting in our rocking chairs on the front porch at his farm on Big Bear Ridge and watching the world go by (see post "Element One:  Proximity to Community).  Jane and I visited the farm last week and had a great time talking and walking the hills around the farm with Jerry and his partner Steve.  Being gay and living in rural Idaho can be challenging but Jerry and Steve have managed to make Jerry's boyhood home their home.  We talked about travel, our bucket lists, and life after retirement.  Jerry and Steve plan to age in place, looking at the beautiful Palouse hills from their living room.  Jerry still thinks about creating a gay-friendly home on the farm for friends to live and age communally -- bedrooms with ensuites and one big central kitchen because he loves to cook.  The idea sounded so far away when we were 30!  Not so much now!  This may be how LGBT seniors in rural areas will create their own private Idaho.  Love you guys!

Jerry and Steve

Here We Have Idaho

Babs in front of her new home

After a wonderful visit to Yellowstone we stopped traveling for a while and enjoyed a few days in Boise with my friend Babs (you can read about her in an earlier post entitled "Babs").  Boise is a beautiful small city nestled among green hills with a river running through the center of town.  Although the politics of Southern Idaho don't match my own, I've always enjoyed coming here to visit Babs.  We were especially anxious to see the new home she purchased recently.  It is just perfect for a 70-something single woman -- single story, two bedrooms, a small yard for her garden and her dog Charlie, and a wood stove to keep her toasty during those chilly winter days.  

One evening, Babs invited some friends over for dinner.  We enjoyed meeting these two delightful women, who have been good friends of Babs for many years.  I have chosen not to give their names to protect their privacy but would like to share some of our dinner conversation.  Both of these women, now in their 70's and 80's, have worked in Idaho in a profession that required that they be in the closet.  One of them is still working and shared that many in her office know she is a lesbian but that she has to have a cover with her clients so the word is that she has a husband who "isn't doing well."  Her partner worked in the Boise public schools for a few years but was afraid her grandchildren, who attended the school where she worked, might be discriminated against if it were discovered that grandma was gay so she resigned and found a job elsewhere.  When we discussed senior housing in Boise for LGBT, they both agreed that there wasn't any place that they knew of that would be open to them.  Sadly, they said that it was most common for partners to go into senior housing with one as a "caretaker" rather than acknowledge the relationship.  In fact, they said if or when they need to leave their lovely Boise home and move into senior housing, they would do the same thing rather than risk not being able to be with each other in the same apartment or room.  So sad.  

When it comes to her LGBT residents, Idaho is not "winning her way to fame" and the "ideals that are being realized" are not the ideals of the LGBT residents, their families and friends. 
 
Lyrics from the State song:
And here we have Idaho,
Winning her way to fame.
Silver and gold in the sunlight blaze,
And romance lies in her name.
Singing, we’re singing of you,
Ah, proudly too. All our lives thru,
We’ll go singing, singing of you,
Singing of Idaho.

There’s truly one state in this great land of ours,
Where ideals can be realized.
The pioneers made it so for you and me,
A legacy we’ll always prize.

Serendipity in South Dakota

Moon Rising over Wall, South Dakota

What are the chances?  We were crossing South Dakota yesterday and decided to camp in Wall, SD so we could travel through the Badlands with good morning light.  As we pulled up to the campground office we noticed an RV with California plates.  Jane went in the office to register and met one of the owners, a woman from Santa Rosa.  We parked at a site next to the Californians and discovered that the owners are two retired women who have been traveling the US since September.  It was great to meet some kindred spirits while on the road.  Charlie and Gina have a wonderful blog documenting their travels.  It seems that they are looking for community as we are.  They discovered Gulfport, Florida and loved it (as we did) but were concerned about buying a home that requires costly flood insurance.  We talked about what it was they were looking for in terms of a community and were told that multi generational and LGBT friendly would be the best fit.  They spoke fondly of the Santa Clara community and recommended we visit Fountaingrove, the new LGBT senior housing there as well as Friends House, a retirement community created in the Quaker tradition.  Both were already on our list but it was good to have confirmation that we are checking out the right places. 

Spirit on Lake Captures the Spirit of LIving Out

Entrance to Spirit on Lake

I'm a Midwest girl so I couldn't drive through Minnesota without visiting "Spirit on Lake" in Minneapolis, urban apartments on the corner of Lake Street and 13th Avenue South.  This place meets my definition of utopia.  They have carefully defined the community as "open to all in a setting where the GLBT elder community can feel fully welcome and secure."  This community is, by design, affordable and diverse.  What an ideal community!

We met with Kathleen Tully, the wonderfully welcoming property manager.  Kathleen calls this an "intentional community" and said that they think of themselves as a "laboratory."  The community opened on September 1st, 2013.  Approximately 70% of the residents are GLBT.  Most of the non-GLBT are Somali. There are four stories and 46 one and two-bedroom apartments here.  Seven units are reserved for CLARE Housing, providing housing and services for HIV positive individuals.  We had the opportunity to tour a one-bedroom apartment.  The proud resident was happy to show us his well-designed space with a wide entryway, beautiful kitchen with high-end finishes and bedroom with a large walk-in closet.  Besides a meeting space, the first floor also houses the the Q (Quatrefoil) Library, the GLBT community library with a large collection of over 10,000 books as well as DVDs, periodicals and sound recordings. 

The Quatrefoil Library

A Poster in the Q Library

Two residents are quite well-known.  Harvey Hertz, is a long-time gay activist and was the owner of the first gay bookstore in Minneapolis.  Barbara Satin, a transgender activist whom Kathleen describes as the matriarch of Spirit on Lake,  can be seen in this video produced by the BBC:  http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26533045

One of the things that makes Spirit on Lake a unique community, besides the fact that it is open to all, is that it was funded by a development group of investors who are dedicated to the ideals represented by Spirit on Lake.  This is a "for profit" enterprise but those who put up the funding must comply with the tax credit requirements.  The community also has the community support of the Living Table United Church of Christ fellowship that is "boldly inclusive." 

Spirit on Lake just received a great honor, Pride Twin Cities recently announced that the Community Champion of Pride award will be given to Spirit on Lake.  The representatives of the community will receive the award at the Grand Marshall Reception in June 13th.  

After we left the building and were heading back to the RV parked on the street just outside the entrance, we were stopped by two residents, (now they feel like friends) Judith and Joleen.  They were on their way out to Judith's storage unit (do we ever have enough room for all our earthly goods?).  What great women!  We talked about all kinds of things, including what it was like to live at Spirit on the Lake.  Both of these 70-somethings are very happy living there and we can understand why.

.  

Chicago, Chicago that Toddling Town

Chicago's New Housing

When I was in Philadelphia, Ed, who runs senior programs at the William Way Community Center, suggested I stop in and see what was going up in Chicago.  I'm so glad I did!  It was a thrill to see this new senior housing development going up in a neighborhood that is somewhat familiar to me as I grew up near Chicago and my grandmother once lived in an apartment close to Halsted Street.

 If you've every been to Chicago and know the area North of downtown on Halsted, you know what a great neighborhood this is for "toddling." Close to Wrigley Field, walking distance to performing arts venues and great restaurants, this area has a great vibe and proudly proclaims itself as an LGBT neighborhood.  There is beautiful signage on every block in the form of rainbow striped posts bearing plaques with the names of LGBT people who have made great contributions to our history and culture.  Here are a couple examples.

The new senior housing is going up just a block from The Center on Halsted, a beautiful building that houses the programs supporting LGBT in Chicago.  There is a Whole Foods Market right next to the Center with a connecting entry to either facility from within the buildings. I was impressed with the way the two entities have blended the community by having the lobby of the Center also function as a gathering spot with table and chairs for those who want to eat their Whole Foods Deli lunch or have coffee and conversation with a friend.  

The new LGBTQ friendly senior housing under construction

The Center on Halsted

A map of the neighborhood

After leaving the Center, we drove to Oak Park to tour the Unity Temple, a wonderful Unitarian Church designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.  Guess what was on the sign outside? And at the church across the street?  If this simple symbol can be used announce to all that LGBT are welcome there, why not use it to welcome us to a senior housing community?