Babs

This seems like a good time to introduce you to an old friend of mine, Barbara (Babs) Littlejohn.  I owe so much to this wonderful woman -- she has been a mentor to me for over 30 years and is the source of my inspiration to take on this research project.

A little background:  Babs and I met each other in 1980 when we were both training to be VISTA volunteers.  Babs was working for Legal Aid in Boise, Idaho, and I was working in Sandpoint, Idaho, for a women's shelter.  We first met in McCall, Idaho in the middle of winter.  Babs knew the area well as she had taught in nearby New Meadows.  We went to a natural hot springs and, if you have ever been to one, you understand that it is rather difficult to hide much of anything!  Babs was 10 years my senior but the age difference didn't matter at all.  Sitting nude in the steaming hot springs on a beautiful winter night, the conversation and laughter flowed easily.  We quickly became close friends due to our common interests:   feminism, lesbianism, social justice and music.  During the 1990's we lost touch with each other but caught up again in 2005 through a rather strange coincidence due to her involvement in gifted education in Idaho, and my work as a school district administrator of a gifted program in Washington State.  After we had found each other again, we visited each other, talked on the phone and emailed regularly. 

Then, in 2011, Babs hit a rough patch.  She was so ill she couldn't stay in her home and care for herself.  All of Bab's friends rallied around her to find a place for her to live where she could be safe, well fed and cared for.  I joined an email group of her Boise friends so I could keep up with her situation and tried to help find an appropriate place for her in Boise.  So, from a distance, how do you find appropriate senior housing for a bright, articulate 70 year old, well-educated (Berkley) lesbian with a passion for politics, science, gardening, and music, who also has a dog and a few cats?  I searched web sites for several senior communities in the Boise area and none seemed to be a good fit for Babs.  To be honest, I'm not even sure WHAT I was looking for that would tell me, "This is a great place for Babs."  I looked at pictures to see how people were dressed.  Would Babs fit in wearing her overalls and a t-shirt?  Would she find these people interesting?  Would they be interested in getting to know her?   Would there be any other LGBT residents or  employees there?  How would they learn about her sexual orientation, and how would they react?  Is there anything on the intake form that would let her share this information?  If so, how confidential would that information be?  There were no signs to tell me, "We welcome LGBT here!"

While I was still searching for the "right place" via the internet, Bab's Boise friends had connected with a place they believed was a good fit.  Babs moved in and stayed for less than a year.  It wasn't the right fit and she just wasn't happy.  When I asked her if she liked the community she was always careful to say that the people were "lovely but a bit older" and they didn't have much in common.  She also missed being more independent.  

After spending year or so in an apartment complex, Babs has purchased a new home and finally feels settled in her nest again.  She is happy, healthy, and living close to the community activities in Boise that she so enjoys.  She's still teaching some -- helping a young Latino mother get her GED, she takes music lessons, plays in a recorder group and attends meetings and rallies to fight the very conservative Idaho political machine.   I hope she can stay in her home as long as possible but if she can't, and needs to return to senior housing, I hope by then there will be a place where Babs can be Babs.